


もっと しりたい

by cyuuto



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6843826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyuuto/pseuds/cyuuto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>In Teiko Middle School's war on the supernatural, the people are represented by one group of prodigies and geniuses, the Generation of Miracles. This group seeks to find the truth behind the many mysteries of the school, especially surrounding one Kuroko Tetsuya. These are their stories.</em>
</p><p>"Okay, now you're just ripping shit off."</p><p> <em>DUN DUN.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	もっと しりたい

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jarofclay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofclay/gifts), [ceallachrion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceallachrion/gifts).



_Six miracles and prodigies and Satsuki assembled in one dark room, a closet with cobwebs and a single flickering light, the only decorations being a whiteboard and some chairs. Not enough for six people, mind you, but enough for five people and a dog._

"Oi," says Kise, from his spot on the floor.

 ** _'J_ _ust What Is Kuroko Tetsu?_  '** _reads the whiteboard. Someone has written '-ya' under it in red, for no apparent reason._

"'No apparent reason'? His first name is Tetsuya, Daiki."

_Indeed, the subject's name was Tetsuya. The narrator knew that._

"No, you didn't."

_There was an incredibly and devilishly handsome young man standing in front of the whiteboard, his eyes calculating and fierce. He held in his hand a blue Expo marker, because those were the best kind, and a list of strange happenings that revolved around one boy._

_Kuroko Tetsuya._

"Why are you narrating thi-- Actually, don't say 'Kuroko Tetsuya' all seriously like that when you didn't even know his full name until a few seconds ago."

_The boy was a mystery dressed in a Teiko uniform just like any other well-off young adult. What hid below that passive mask? What dark secrets did he know?_

_Just what was the enigma named Kuroko Tetsuya?_

"I'm hungry."

"Momocchi made some cookies earlier, if you want some."

"Hm… Nah. Don't feel like dying."

"I made those with _love,_ Mukkun!"

"Yeah, and arsenic, probably."

_The caramel-tanned cerulean-haired hunk reminds his subordinates that he's narrating and it's important and they should shut up._

"No."

_I swear to god._

"You broke tense, Daiki. Tsk tsk."

_I SWEAR TO GOD._

* * *

 

"Like," says Aomine, rapidly giving up on the narrator thing, "his puke _sparkles_. Unless he eats glitter sandwiches for lunch, that isn't normal."

"Maybe he's a vampire," suggests Kise, "those definitely sparkle."

"They're also definitely not real," Midorima says, "Why are we in a closet anyway. What did we gain from this."

" _Atmosphere,_ " Aomine explains, "we gained atmosphere. Also, Kise, your idea is bad and you should feel bad. Vampires suck."

"Literally," adds Akashi. "Also, I think we're gaining a severe cough and the attention of some spiders, more than we've gained atmosphere. Shall we relocate?"

_The team, led by their dashing blue-haired captain, decides to relocate to Maji Burger._

"I thought Mine-chin gave up narrating already?"

* * *

_But little did the squad know what terrors awaited them at the fast food joint. But there he was, Kuroko Tetsuya, sat at their usual table and sipping a vanilla milkshake._

"I would hardly call myself a terror, Aomine-kun. What brings everyone to Majiba?"

"Aominecchi thinks you're a supernatural force. No big whoop," says Kise, taking his spot on one side of Kuroko with Momoi already occupying the other side.

"...I see."

"Well yeah, kind of a big whoop, but he's Aominecchi so we're just ignoring him."

_The gorgeous young captain decides to fire his police dog._

"And he's speaking in third person because he thinks he's a narrator," Kuroko concludes. "Interesting."

Akashi smiles. "Leave it to Tetsuya to quickly and succinctly analyze Daiki's asinine and idiotic behavior."

"Indeed," says Midorima. "By the way, Kuroko, your fortune said to not eat fries today. Glad to see you're following Oha-Asa's advice."

"Tetsu-kun is the best!"

"Aka-chin said _asinine_ ," Murasakibara chimes. "But anyway... What is Kuro-chin? Why does your throw-up glitter and sparkle?"

_Right to the point. As expected of the captain's information gatherer, the infamous Murasakibara._

Kuroko's face turns serious. "I didn't expect you all to see through me so soon."

"I am a creature of the night," he continues, deadpan, "a malefic shadow from the depths of Hell. I feed on the life force of vanilla milkshakes, and my plans are, of course, world domination. I am sorry you had to find out this way."

_He knew it._

"I _knew it_ ," screams Aomine, pointing an accusing finger at Kuroko. "I  _knew_ you weren't one of us!"

"So, Aomine-kun, will you assist me in my plot?" Kuroko asks, holding out a hand to Aomine's petrified figure.

" _I will never help the forces of evil_ ," yells Aomine, loudly enough that it resounds throughout the entire restaurant. "This isn't over! I'll be back for you, Tetsu!"

_The fierce captain decides to leave his lackies to die and makes a swift exit._

"Ah, so those are his true colors," says Midorima. 

"Kurokocchi, did you have that story ready? It was almost convincing. You're not actually from Hell, right?" Kise asks jokingly.

Kuroko snorts, but doesn't answer.

A beat.

_"...Right?"_

**Author's Note:**

> _DUN DUN._


End file.
